Ask Bubbi Advice Column - Monday July 6th 2009

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by Ask Bubbi
on Monday, July 06, 2009

Dear Bubbi,

I haven't seen my Dad since I was eight. He and my mom divorced and he moved thousands of miles away. He contacted me recently and said he wants to be part of my life again. I'm 19 and not really interested in getting to know the man who left me and my Mother to start a new life with a new wife and her three kids. I'm a decent guy but feel nothing for this man who deserted me.

~Not Willing To Forgive And Forget.

Dear Not Willing To Forgive and Forget,

I completely understand how you are feeling and you have every right to be disappointed in your Dad. One question... When you say, "He wants to be part of my life again" do you have any idea what he has in mind? Though you say you have no desire to get to know your Dad it might not hurt to leave open some lines of communication. Perhaps you could write to him and express how you felt eleven years ago when he left. Even if it doesn't lead to sholem-machen (to reconcile) it could give you some closure.

Dear Bubbi,

I haven't met anyone nice to date in years (exhausted all the local options) and I'm about to throw in the towel. I'm a 62 year old grandmother, full of energy (if you know what I mean) and just want to have a meaningful relationship, that maybe could lead to marriage. Help me!!

~Not Ready To Throw In The Towel

Dear Not Ready To Throw In the Towel,

Have you tried one of the legitimate matchmaking services online? A few words of advice...Tell the truth, A halber e'mes iz a gantster lig'en, (a half truth is a whole lie). Put up a real picture (not a "staged" photo) and be careful how much personal information you reveal until you get to know a prospective date. As far as your "energy" is concerned, be careful how and who you use it with. Practice the same precautions you lectured your children about when they started dating!

About Ask Bubbi

Ever known a Jewish Grandmother? (Bubbi). They're born matchmakers and problem solvers, capable of fixing any issue with a bowl of matza ball soup and some humorous, no nonsense advice.

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