Ask Bubbi Advice Column - Monday July 27th 2009

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by Ask Bubbi
on Monday, July 27, 2009

Dear Bubbi,

My Mother-in-law wants to move in with us and I'm not thrilled about the idea. She is not destitute, in poor health or elderly. She just is lonely, has nothing to do all day and wants companionship. My husband and I both work full time and barely have time for ourselves. My husband is afraid to say anything to his Mother for fear of hurting her feelings. She's been leaning on him emotionally since her husband (his Dad) died 2 years ago. I don't know how to deal with this without sounding like a heartless Daughter-in-law!

~Caught In The Middle

Dear Caught In The Middle,

My sympathy goes out to your family for the loss of someone you loved. Reality is, your Mother-in-law is very einzam (lonely), but I'm not sure moving in with you and your husband will be the quick fix. What I would suggest is that she make an effort to fill her days with activities. Perhaps she could get a part-time job or take a course or two or do some volunteer work in the community. Sounds like she could also use a friend or two...The problem is, she can't meet people sitting home all day. Perhaps you and your husband could talk to your Mother-in-law together. It sounds like he could use some emotional support.

Dear Bubbi,

I laugh at everything even when someone tells me the worst news. I know it's a nervous habit, but I can't seem to get rid of it. The other day my friend told me her cat died and I started laughing. This is a really embarrassing condition and I need to fix it . Any suggestions?

~Feeling Like A Freak

Dear Feeling Like A Freak,

Many medical experts agree that guelechter (laughter) boosts your immune system and benefits the mind, body and spirit. That's the good news! The bad news is, this is a tough habit to get rid of. I did some research on the subject and it seems you are not alone with this problem. What I would suggest is... If someone shares sad news, express your sympathy verbally so your words become the focus of attention NOT your laughter. Good luck!

About Ask Bubbi

Ever known a Jewish Grandmother? (Bubbi). They're born matchmakers and problem solvers, capable of fixing any issue with a bowl of matza ball soup and some humorous, no nonsense advice.

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